Future of Sex
tagline
  • Remote Sex
  • Virtual Sex & Entertainment
  • Robots
  • Human Augmentation
  • Sex Tech
  • Dating & Relationships
  • Bizarre Bazaar 18+
  • Future of Sex Community
  • Remote Sex
  • Virtual Sex & Entertainment
  • Robots
  • Human Augmentation
  • Sex Tech
  • Dating & Relationships
  • Bizarre Bazaar 18+
  • Future of Sex Community
  • The Future of Pleasure

  • Many People Play Dating Video Games for Relationship Skills: Study

  • 3D Sex World Yareel Releases 6 New Poses for Sybian Sex Machine

  • 6th Love and Sex with Robots Congress Will Be Virtual, Despite Montreal Hopes

  • Top Sextech Companies: Pleasure Products and Sexual Wellness and Health

  • Sex Will Be More Fun and Equitable, Thanks to Widely Accepted Male Birth Control

  • SexHack 2021: Virtual Hackathon Seeks Ideas on Sexuality and Mental Health

  • Review of the Most Realistic Best Sex Games and Sex Simulators of 2021 [UPDATED]

Future of Sex is supported by our readers. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Home > Dating & Relationships > Touching Issues: Are COVID-19 Virtual Relationships Doomed to Fail?

Dating & Relationships
Home›Dating & Relationships›Touching Issues: Are COVID-19 Virtual Relationships Doomed to Fail?

Touching Issues: Are COVID-19 Virtual Relationships Doomed to Fail?

By M. Christian
January 1, 2021
103
0

Do we need all of our senses to make an intimate connection? 

Are Zoom video calls enough to sustain a romantic connection post-lockdown? 

According to Sheril Kirshenbaum, a research scientist at Michigan State University and the author of The Science of Kissing, the news isn’t good for lonely hearts seeking long-term love. 

In her article for The Conversation, Kirshenbaum blames video-calling platforms’ inability to encourage the release of essential hormones. She names three in particular: adrenaline, to get our heart racing; oxytocin, the so-called happiness and bonding hormone; and dopamine, which can create desire. 

This potent biological mixture kickstarts into high gear when we meet face-to-face, but not when everything’s virtual. As Kirshenbaum writes: 

When two people are a good match, hormones and neurotransmitters bring about the sensations we might describe as being on a natural high or experiencing the exhilaration of butterflies. Finding love isn’t rocket science —it’s anatomy, endocrinology and real chemistry.

All in all, a pretty sound argument—backed up by other researchers—that affection’s fueled more by what we are, our biochemistry and primordial impulses, than who we are. 

Or is it?  Because there’s also the idea that the opposite is true: that physical proximity play’s only a small part in beginning an actual deep, romantic connection with another person, it’s our consciousnesses, our minds that get things going—no matter the distance.

What’s love got to do with it?

We should first try and establish what love is, which, considering how philosophers and scientists have puzzled over it for thousands of years, isn’t going to be easy.

As our space is limited, let’s duck it by admitting there are as many forms and degrees of affection as there are humans on this planet, now or ever.

That aside, we can look at those, like Sheril Kirshenbaum, who are working to understand the mechanism of how these various forms of affection get triggered. 

Love me do

In regards to what might initially spark affection, Arthur Aron’s certainly got love on his mind—or rather, it’s more accurate to say he’s spent an inordinate amount of time studying the mysteries behind it. 

This professor of psychology at the State University of New York, Stony Brook’s passion for the subject has garnered him a lot of attention, including his “36 questions that spark intimacy” getting featured by The New York Times.

Slate put this to the test with pairs of volunteers using Aron’s questions to try and initiate a romantic connection with each other. The results were, to be fair, mixed. 

However, this doesn't negate what Aron and other researchers have been proposing: that while hormones and neurotransmitters play a role, it’s our minds that have the ultimate say-so when it comes to attraction and desire.

What is right—and, more importantly, for all of us trapped at home during the pandemic—when we can’t touch another person, can we still find love?

The look of love

Hate to burst your bubble, but we don’t know. Not yet, at any rate, as the science behind it marches steadily on. 

Similarly, how social isolation could end up affecting human society is probably something we won’t be able to get a handle on until well after the pandemic has passed. Not that we can’t have fun exploring what could happen, which we’ve done several times here at Future of Sex. 

Going out on a freely admitted, uneducated branch, I think that we’ll end up discovering that it’s a combo of both: just how much the body and how much the mind varies from person to person we become attracted to.

So it shouldn’t be surprising that a share of Zoom-based relationships won’t last. But that doesn’t mean that all of them will—just as purely physical ones can come on fast and hard only to have the passion then fade over time.

Meanwhile, others may come out of the pandemic with a new perspective, with months of virtual intimacy, revealing a wave of hormones aren’t always necessary to get affection and desire going.

And, you know what, that’s great because in the immortal words of John Lennon, no matter whatever it comes from, “All you need is love.”

Image sources: TIGER500, Pana Kutlumpasis, Free-Photos

M. Christian

M.Christian loves nothing better than exploring the intersections of sex and technology—and speculating on the future of both. A highly regarded erotica writer he has six novels,12 collections,100+ short stories, and 25 anthologies as an editor to his name. His non-fiction regularly appears n many sites, but he’s most proud of being a regular contributor to Future of Sex.

Of his erotic fiction, Tristan Taormino said that “M.Christian is a literary stylist of the highest caliber: smart, funny, frightening, sexy—there's nothing he can't write about … and brilliantly.”

Reflecting his unique ability to sympathetically and convincingly write for a range of genders and sexual orientations, his stories have appeared in multiple editions of Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, The Mammoth Books of Erotica, and others. His collection of gay erotic fiction, Dirty Words, was a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award.

While a majority of his stories have been collected into books like Dirty Words, his fondness for combining sex and science fiction is clearly evident in collections that include Rude Mechanicals, Technorotica, Better Than The Real Thing, Skin Effect Effect, Bachelor Machine, and Hard Drive: The Best Sci-Fi Erotica of M.Christian.

As a novelist, M.Christian’s versatility is on full display with and the somewhat controversial queer BDSM/horror/thrillers Finger's Breadth, and Me2.

M.Christian has worked on the industry’s production side as an Associate Publisher for Renaissance E Books and as a Publisher for Digital Parchment Services. The latter dedicated to celebrating the works of science-fiction legends such as William Rotsler, Jerome Bixby, Jody Scott, Arthur Byron Cover, Ernest Hogan, and James Van Hise.

Covering topics like BDSM safety, sexual education, senior sexuality concerns, queer and gender issues, plus reviewing a variety of sextech products, M.Christian’s non-fiction has appeared on sites like Kinkly, Tickle.Life, Sexpert, Queer Majority, Sex for Every Body, and—of course—his ongoing work for Future of Sex.

If there’s anything M.Christian enjoys more than writing, it’s teaching. A featured presenter, sometimes with his friend Ralph Greco Jr, at national sex and BDSM events, he’s lectured on kink play (with an emphasis on safety), polyamory, boosting sexual creativity, and erotica writing--for beginners or those wanting to go pro.

M.Christian is a cohost on two popular sex-education podcasts: Love’s Outer Limits with Dr. Amy Marsh and Licking Non-Vanilla with Ralph Greco, Jr.

M.Christian's Books (Sizzler Editions)
M.Christian's Audiobooks
Previous Article

Yareel Review: A 3D Multiplayer Sex Game ...

Next Article

The ‘Virtual Girlfriend’ Experience: AI Love Doll ...

Related articles More from author

  • 6 Ways to Stay Intimate
    Dating & RelationshipsRemote Sex

    6 Ways to Feel Your Loved One’s Touch During Self-isolation

    April 28, 2020
    By M. Christian
  • Dating & RelationshipsRemote Sex

    Distance Doesn’t Matter: 5 Ways Technology Can Help LDR Couples Stay Intimate

    December 7, 2019
    By Future of Sex
  • Dating & RelationshipsRobotsSex Tech

    Sex Tech Trends 2019: Open Relationships, Sex Dolls, and AI Will Thrill Us

    February 12, 2019
    By Future of Sex
  • Dating & RelationshipsVirtual Sex

    Mystic Messenger: Virtual Dating and Toxic Masculinity

    September 4, 2019
    By Miss Doll
  • Dating & Relationships

    The Seven Days of Swiping, Day 7: Fetlife, a Social Network for Kinksters and Fetishists

    February 14, 2020
    By Connor Leshner
  • The Good, The Bad and The Orwellian Large Banner
    Dating & RelationshipsSex Tech

    Futurist Ross Dawson on Sexbot Sex Educators, Virtual Dating, and the Risks and Rewards of Sex Tech

    June 26, 2020
    By M. Christian

  • Sex Tech

    LELO HEX Re-engineers the Condom for Better, Safer Sex

  • Remote SexRobots

    Why ‘My Date With A Robot’ Brings Intriguing Twist to Future Sexuality

  • Stamina Training Package
    Remote Sex

    The Vstroker Review: Grasping for Sensual Stimulation

  • TOP REVIEWS

  • Realistic Sex Games

    Review of the Most Realistic Best Sex Games and Sex Simulators of 2021 [UPDATED]

    0
  • Multiplayer Online Sex Games

    Review of the Best Massively Multiplayer Online Sex Games

    0
  • Sex Games for Mac

    The Best Sex Games for Mac

    0
  • Best Sex Game Apps for Couples

    The Best Sex Game Apps for Couples for 2020 [Updated]

    0
  • The Best RPG Sex Games of 2020

    0
  • 24KFollowers

Like Us on Facebook

Follow us

  • Home
  • About
  • ADVERTISE
  • Contribute
  • Story Ideas?
  • Sitemap
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
© 2011 - 2021 Future Exploration Network
This website or its third-party tools use cookies to improve user experience and track affiliate sales. To learn more about why we need to use cookies, please refer to the Privacy Policy.

By clicking the agree button or continuing to browse through the website, you agree to the use of cookies. Accept Privacy Policy
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

SAVE & ACCEPT