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Home > Sex Tech > The Automoblow Lets You Upgrade Your Tesla to Give Robot Blowjobs

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Home›Robots›The Automoblow Lets You Upgrade Your Tesla to Give Robot Blowjobs

The Automoblow Lets You Upgrade Your Tesla to Give Robot Blowjobs

By M. Christian
August 13, 2020
1820
0

Playful sex tech gag or worst idea ever?  

Automoblow

If you happen to sport a particular anatomical feature, have to slog through a tediously long commute, and own a self-driving Tesla, then Autoblow has a way to satiate your sex drive—while driving!

An accessory for their artificial-intelligence programmed sleeve-type masturbator, the Automoblow supposedly allows those behind the wheel too, as the company puts it, “Show up to work feeling refreshed.”

Of course, there’s also the excellent possibility that Autoblow’s just pulling our legs, backed up by their humorously narrated video.  

If it’s an actual product, however, then it’s as far from a laughing matter as you can get.

One for the road

The AutoBlow AI is a Robot Blowjob Machine

In essence, this new accessory somewhat resembles an articulated monitor arm, which many telecommuters are now familiar with, that connects an Autoblow unit to one end with the other getting inserted into a Tesla’s cupholder.

Unlike the monitor type, the Automoblow appears to have a pretty limited range of motion: meaning that users may have to do some tweaking and better body-positioning to get the fun bit of the arrangement into an ideal position.

Speaking of that fun bit, Autoblow’s no slacker when it comes to sophisticated sextech: evidenced by their appearances here at Future of Sex.

Under the hood, the Autoblow’s works by sliding a slightly-constricting ring up and down the length of its interchangeable sleeve, driven by a ten-speed motor.

But much of Autoblow’s real claim to fame lies in the programming of those mechanics. Beginning with volunteers observing in adult videos what they considered to be perfect oral sex movements, this data then got fed into a neural network.

After chewing on this, their artificial intelligence subsequently generated some orally pleasurable patterns for the hardware to follow.

They certainly must have done something right with this, because Autoblow’s reports 250,000 units sold since launching in 2014.

For anyone wanting to get there—ahem—hands on one of their units, the artificially intelligent version will set you back $219.96. If that’s too steep, the less smart but still pleasurable model is $129.95.

And the Automoblow accessory?  For on-the-road release, expect to pay $139 when it supposedly releases in the fall.

In the driver’s seat

Though the idea of autonomous vehicles, with their exhibitionistic and voyeuristic potential and not forgetting the concept of mobile brothels, has been pondered by Future of Sex before as far as we know, this is the first practical concept we've come across.

But let’s be clear: if Autoblow’s not pulling our legs—or other body parts—then the new Tesla accessory is potentially a very dangerous idea.

First of all, texting, or any form of distracted driving for that matter, is bad enough, with the United States Department of Transportation reporting 2,841 deaths directly tied to it in 2018 alone.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), meanwhile, breaks it down to “9 people killed and more than 1,000 injured” per day in the US.

There’s also the issue of Tesla’s self-driving feature being far, far, far from perfect, made worse, if that’s possible, by the still too pervasive ignorance over what the car can and can’t do.

Perfect evidence of which is how often the news reports on Tesla-related deaths and injuries, such as the driver back in February who fatally crashed after taking his hands off the wheel to play a video game.

Autoblow’s disclaimer on their video for users to “check local indecent exposure and distracted driving laws” shows they’re at least partially aware of these risks—that and the Automoblow’s naturally not endorsed by Tesla.

Vroom vroom vroom

Appropriate of not, if Autoblow’s trying to be funny we have to give them at least a partial bravo: after all, what with the COVID-19 pandemic and all, most of us could do with a good guffaw right now.

A joke that also puts Autoblow in good company alongside Lee James Allen and his massive, in his prototype’s dimensions as well as the scope of his ‘Socially Distanced’ 3-foot Strap-on Dildo prank.

So let’s cross our fingers that Autoblow is joking about this new accessory. But if they aren’t, and they happen to read this article, then please shelve this idea immediately, at least until fully self-driving cars arrive on the market.

Image sources: Letsgasm!, Autoblow

M. Christian

M.Christian (they/them) loves nothing better than exploring the intersections of sex and technology—and speculating on the future of both. A highly regarded erotica writer they have six novels,12 collections, 100+ short stories, and 25 anthologies as an editor to their name. Their non-fiction regularly appears in many sites, but they're most proud of being a regular contributor to Future of Sex.

Of their erotic fiction, Tristan Taormino said that “M.Christian is a literary stylist of the highest caliber: smart, funny, frightening, sexy—there's nothing [they] can't write about… and brilliantly.”

Reflecting their unique ability to sympathetically and convincingly write for a range of genders and sexual orientations, their stories have appeared in multiple editions of Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, The Mammoth Books of Erotica, and others. Their collection of gay erotic fiction, Dirty Words, was a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award.

While a majority of their stories have been collected into books like Dirty Words, their fondness for combining sex and science fiction is clearly evident in collections that include Rude Mechanicals, Technorotica, Better Than The Real Thing, Skin Effect Effect, Bachelor Machine, and Hard Drive: The Best Sci-Fi Erotica of M.Christian.

As a novelist, M.Christian’s versatility is on full display with Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Brushes, Painted Doll; and the somewhat controversial queer BDSM/horror/thrillers Finger's Breadth, and Me2.

M.Christian has worked on the industry’s production side as an Associate Publisher for Renaissance E Books and as a Publisher for Digital Parchment Services. The latter dedicated to celebrating the works of science-fiction legends such as William Rotsler, Jerome Bixby, Jody Scott, Arthur Byron Cover, Ernest Hogan, and James Van Hise.

Covering topics like BDSM safety, sexual education, senior sexuality concerns, queer and gender issues, plus reviewing a variety of sex tech products, M.Christian’s non-fiction has appeared on sites like Kinkly, Tickle.Life, Sexpert, Queer Majority, Sex for Every Body, and—of course—their ongoing work for Future of Sex.

If there’s anything M.Christian enjoys more than writing, it’s teaching. A featured presenter, sometimes with their friend Ralph Greco Jr, at national sex and BDSM events, they have lectured on kink play (with an emphasis on safety), polyamory, boosting sexual creativity, and erotica writing--for beginners or those wanting to go pro.

M.Christian is a cohost on two popular sex-education podcasts: Love’s Outer Limits with Dr. Amy Marsh and Licking Non-Vanilla with Ralph Greco, Jr.

M.Christian's Books (Sizzler Editions)
M.Christian's Audiobooks
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