When the bedroom is everywhere.

Back when dinosaurs ruled the earth and home computers first became available, what you had on your desk was all there was—or ever could be. Buying your hardware was all about foresight; not just about what you needed but what you might need.

True, some things could be upgraded—like RAM and ROM—but the basic, and stop me if I’m getting too technical here, guts of your computer were pretty much it.

Welcome to the cloud

Along came the Internet. At first it was a place to romp around in—especially for sexy stuff—but that, and computers, changed completely with the advent of the cloud.

In a nutshell, the cloud is where I’m writing this right now. Back in the aforementioned era of the Tyrannosaurus Rex, I would have been clacking away into MS Word, saving the finished piece onto a hard drive or floppy. From there it would then be snail mailed, sneaker-netted, or—with the coming of early Internet—emailed to whoever wanted it.

But now I’m doing my clicking and clacking in Google Docs (take that, Microsoft): each word zapped off almost as fast as I can write it. My machine no longer has to do anything but connect to the web.

It also means that I can pull this article up on my iPad, my iPhone, or any other piece of tech that can connect to the net—and other people at Future of Sex can do the same, as long as I give them permission, of course.

Sex tech and the cloud

Okay, you’ve been patient enough: let’s get to sex. Like any technology, we are seeing all kinds of sex tech that connects, via Bluetooth or a direct physical connection, to the Internet. This allows users to remotely access certain sex toys known as teledildonics. t

Vibrators, butt plugs, you name it, and there’s someone either working on or already selling one that can do some pretty amazing things—but not because of built-in processing power but because it can connect to the web, which does the thinking for it.

Manufacturers like Vibease, SayberX, and Kirroo take full advantage of the cloud when it comes to sex tech.

It’s easy, though, to forget a key attraction to the cloud. Sure, you can now program your vibrator with your smartphone or computer, and you can even share your personalized settings with your partner, or the world, and you can link all kinds of devices to all kinds of other devices.

But the cloud also means that if something should happen to your precious sex toy settings all you need to do is pair it with your online profile and—viola—you’re ready to rock again.

Sex tech doesn’t have to be computationally heavy. In addition to flexibility, this also means smaller size and, best of all, reduced cost.

So, no matter where you go, as long as you can connect to the Internet, you can conjure up your favorite stimulations whenever and with whatever device you like.

Essential security

As always, there is a catch—as shown with frightening clarity when recently the Internet of Things played a hand in a massive outage.

Security is nothing to laugh at: as we gain so much with the cloud there’s a equal risk of losing a great deal. As we have stepped away from machines on desks to a web-based world, we are all just a password away from complete exposure—or the.

Sex tech is absolutely not immune to this. Just look at the recent lawsuit against Standard Innovation Corp., the sellers of We-Vibe. A woman, known only as N.P., claimed the manufacturer was collecting very personal and identifying information about people who have used its Internet-connected sex toys, including vibrations settings and IP addresses.

Then there’s the risk of being hacked: it’s frightening enough to think about someone gaining access to your financial information—what about the settings to your favorite sex toys, or your web-based favorites on some adult entertainment site?

Ahead in the cloud

As with so many things these days, there’s much that’s still being worked out—much we all have to deal with before we not only have the benefits of an Internet-based life but effective security as well.

Until that happens it’s always best to play it safe: enjoy your life in the cloud —but always keep your feet firmly on the ground.

Image sources: Chris Potter, FutUndBeidl