Future of Sex
tagline
  • Remote Sex
  • Virtual Sex & Entertainment
  • Robots
  • Human Augmentation
  • Sex Tech
  • Dating & Relationships
  • Bizarre Bazaar 18+
  • Future of Sex Community
  • Remote Sex
  • Virtual Sex & Entertainment
  • Robots
  • Human Augmentation
  • Sex Tech
  • Dating & Relationships
  • Bizarre Bazaar 18+
  • Future of Sex Community
  • CES Sex Toy News and Sex Tech Brands

  • Policing Intimacy: AI Companion Apps Are Removing NSFW Features, and People Are Not Happy

  • The Future of Sex Is Non-binary Genital Surgery That Advances Bodily Agency

  • Is Equity Crowdfunding the Future of Sex Tech Investment?

  • Sex Tech News: New VR Sex Game, a User-Generated Erotica App and ‘Porn for TV’ Streaming Relaunches

  • Blyynd Brings on Investors to Build Anonymous Sexting App

  • A Fitbit for the Penis? The FirmTech Tech Ring Product Review

  • Sex Tech at CES 2023: 6 Brands Exhibited, Including an Anonymous Sexting App

Future of Sex is supported by our readers. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Home > Dating & Relationships > I’m a Sapiosexual — Here’s Why I Dislike Dating Apps and Social Media

Dating & Relationships
Home›Dating & Relationships›I’m a Sapiosexual — Here’s Why I Dislike Dating Apps and Social Media

I’m a Sapiosexual — Here’s Why I Dislike Dating Apps and Social Media

By Ivy Locke
December 3, 2021
267
0

Hook-up culture, a byproduct of social media, makes it difficult to establish genuine connections.

Picture of a couple kissing on phone with a coffee cup and steel spoon placed on napkin

Although dating apps and social media allow us to connect with people around the globe, they have also left a trail of negative effects. For instance, social media has emerged as one of the top tools used to promote and facilitate hook-up culture.

As a sapiosexual, I have noticed that social media and dating apps have made it challenging to establish genuine connections with people offline. I believe that people are more concerned with what's trending and how many “likes” they are getting online, than they are with creating authentic relationships.

Hook-up culture may work for some, but for sapiosexuals, who need genuine mental and emotional connections in order to feel attraction, it makes dating almost impossible.

Social media and hook-up culture

The filtered, limitless nature of social media has changed how many of us view relationships. According to Social Media Today, “‘Hanging out' is the new norm, because people are presented with an endless supply of new options at the touch of their fingertips.” 

Social media seems to be contributing to a culture that places a low value on long-term commitment. Rather than form meaningful connections, many people would rather live in the moment and explore their almost endless array of hook-up options. 

Attention spans are shorter

Group of people busy on their phone sidebarring others showing side effect of smartphones and social media

Social media is also arguably shortening our attention spans. Those who are young and developing are especially prone to this issue. 

For instance, “sidebarring” is a new dating trend among Millennials. This increasingly common behavior involves moving someone to the so-called side, to focus your attention instead on someone or something else. It can occur in person or virtually and typically involves the use of technology.

“Sidebarring” seems to be a side effect of smartphones and social media. People are so distracted by what’s going on on their phones, tablets, and computers, that they ignore what’s going on in their everyday lives. 

Desire for instant gratification

Social media has also contributed to our collective desire for instant gratification. Rather than needing to go out into the world and forge genuine, sustainable connections, we can find everything with the click of a button. And this, unfortunately, applies to our relationships as well. 

The use of social media and other technology includes ads, alerts, and other tactics that are designed to attract our attention and distract us from reality. Instant feedback from our technology contributes to an overall culture that values instant gratification over lasting meaning. 

Unfortunately, this affects the way we connect with each other. These days, some people are more likely to turn to social media for validation and to find their next relationship, rather than trying to repair or sustain an existing one.

Sapiosexuals are negatively impacted by hook-up culture

Image of couple dancing in disco

I have identified as a sapiosexual since before I heard of the term. For as long as I can remember, I have always preferred to deal with those I felt I had a mental connection with.

While I fully respect everyone's right to live as they see fit, I can't help but observe the fact that I frequently encounter people who seem intent on keeping all of their relationships on the surface. 

Since hook-up culture became more acceptable, people can write off random encounters as just part of “getting to know” someone. Unfortunately, this line of thinking doesn't work for someone like me. I end up terminating a lot of potential situationships before they even begin, because I get turned off when someone is too sexual too soon. 

The bottom line

In the end, although it can get (sexually) frustrating, I am fine with things being the way they are. Social media also allows me to lurk and find out if someone is even worth my time before getting invested. As a sapiosexual, I would much rather be alone than spend five minutes talking to someone who will never value me or my brilliant mind. 

Nevertheless, much like flip phones and dial-up internet, the future does not seem to favor those of us who prefer to make our sexual connections the old-fashioned way.

Image source: jokerleber, geralt, natureaddict

Ivy Locke

Ivy Locke is a freelance writer and journalist who enjoys exploring topics that are taboo and controversial. With over 10 years of varied experience, she has written everything from poetry and lyrics to commercials, case studies, and much more. In the future, she hopes to continue to explore and expand her talents by breaking into new genres of writing.
Previous Article

Sex Robot-based Dating and the Path to ...

Next Article

Staying Out of the Spam Folder As ...

Related articles More from author

  • A couple cuddles on a bed
    Dating & RelationshipsSex Tech

    Sex Toy Tips for Couples in Winter Relationships

    November 19, 2021
    By Jenna Owsianik
  • Dating & RelationshipsRobotsSex TechVirtual Sex & Entertainment

    Q&A: Sx Tech Co-founder Explains Why It’s a Hot Time for Women in the Industry

    June 26, 2019
    By Future of Sex
  • Screenshot showing colorful pencils with LOVE letters engraved on dice
    Dating & Relationships

    Touching Issues: Are COVID-19 Virtual Relationships Doomed to Fail?

    January 1, 2021
    By M. Christian
  • A heart gem comes out of an opened pill casing.
    Dating & RelationshipsSex Tech

    Your Chemical Romance: The Pros and Cons of Love Drugs

    March 22, 2022
    By M. Christian
  • Dating & Relationships

    5 Ways to Meet People Online for Adult Fun

    November 14, 2019
    By Sponsored Post
  • hotel window sexy silhouette
    Dating & RelationshipsRobots

    Desire for Casual Sex May Predict Less Interest in Sex Robots

    December 20, 2021
    By Connor Leshner

  • Robots

    Stunning Sexbots, Love Dolls, and a Ripped Male Hot Cop at AVN 2020 [PHOTOS]

  • RobotsSex Tech

    The Future of Sex Work Is Autonomous Cars and Mobile Brothels: Report

  • VR PornVirtual Sex & Entertainment

    VR Porn Sites Offering Free Virtual Reality Headsets

Virtual Lust is a 3D interactive sex game.
3DXChat
Discover the best virtual sex parties and 3D sex worlds.
  • TOP REVIEWS

  • “Bright Lights, Loving City”—An Erotic Speculative Fiction Story

  • Woman in blue lighting with yellow binary code projected across her face.

    Policing Intimacy: AI Companion Apps Are Removing NSFW Features, and People Are Not Happy

  • Porn for TV logo (computer screen graphic with pink u shapes and a mouse cursor).

    Sex Tech News: New VR Sex Game, a User-Generated Erotica App and ‘Porn for TV’ ...

  • The Blyynd logo with two screens. One has a chat screen and one has the sexual desire options listed.

    Blyynd Brings on Investors to Build Anonymous Sexting App

  • FirmTech Tech Ring

    A Fitbit for the Penis? The FirmTech Tech Ring Product Review

  • Sex Tech at CES 2023: 6 Brands Exhibited, Including an Anonymous Sexting App

  • What Vibrating Buttplug Support in a Video Game Taught Us About the Future of Webcam ...

  • Is Virtual Reality Dating Going Mainstream?

  • Sex Doll Brothels: Reality vs. Expectation

  • Replika AI Chatbot saved human marriage

    How Replika’s AI Chatbot Saved One Man’s Human Marriage

  • Meet the Humans Forming Romantic Relationships With AI

    Replika Romance: Meet the Humans Forming Romantic Relationships With AI

  • The future of sex is mind-reading AI that reveals your deepest, most unconscious fantasies

    The Future of Sex Is Mind-Reading AI That Reveals Your Deepest, Most Unconscious Fantasies

  • Sex Robots Are Getting Closer to Feeling Human-Like With Second Skin Materials

    Sex Robots Are Getting Closer to Feeling Human-Like With Second Skin Materials

  • R/gonewildaudio's gender inclusive audio erotica

    /R/gonewildaudio: An Array of Free, Inclusive and Categorized Audio Erotica

  • Fantasy Inspired Sex Toy by Tentickle Toys

    Out of This World: How Fantasy-Inspired Sex Toys Could Be the Next Big Trend

  • Virtual Sex in the Metaverse

    Virtual Sex Will Soon Become a Reality in the Metaverse

  • OnlyBans Game Play As A Sex Worker

    Play as a Sex Worker in New Onlybans Game

  • Black chess pieces laying across an orange background.

    Teledildonics and Chess: The Unexpected Possibilities That Could Enhance Sex

  • A couple with a woman sitting on a man's lap. They each are holding the Tenuto 2 with one hand.

    Tenuto 2 Erection-Enhancing Vibrator Rises To The Occasion

  • Woman looking at a laptop in a bed. You can see a blurry European city outside of the window.

    Here’s How Often Each European Country Is Searching For Sex Toys Online

  • A Woman Showing Her Smartphone.

    Disclosing Trans-ness on Dating Apps

  • Image of Emma the AI bot.

    Will Young Women of the Future Feel Pressure to Perform Like Robots?

  • Realistic Sex Games

    Review of the Best Sex Games and Most Realistic Sex Simulators of 2021 [UPDATED]

    0
  • Multiplayer Online Sex Games

    Review of the Best Massively Multiplayer Online Sex Games

    0
  • Sex Games for Mac

    The Best Sex Games for Mac

    0
  • foot-fetish-sex-games-girlvania

    Foot Fetish Games That Will Knock Your Socks Off

    0
  • The Best RPG Sex Games of 2021

    0
Fantasy sex game Dream Sex World lets you explore your wildest desires.
Multiplayer sex world Red Light Center continues to impress with its massive userbase and incredible sex graphics.
A blonde and light-skinned love doll face sppears next to the text Go now realdollxthe future is real.
  • 27KFollowers

Like Us on Facebook

Newsletter Subscription

Sign up for our monthly newsletter sharing the very best of the future of sex from our publication and others across the web.

DreamSexWorld offers a stunning XXX 3D world filled with incredibly interactive erotic experiences.

Like Us On Facebook

Facebook Pagelike Widget

RLC_ad_v2

Tweets by @FutureofSex
Future of Sex Report

Follow us

  • Home
  • About
  • ADVERTISE
  • Contribute
  • Story Ideas
  • Sitemap
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
© 2011 - 2022 Future Exploration Network
This website or its third-party tools use cookies to improve user experience and track affiliate sales. To learn more about why we need to use cookies, please refer to the Privacy Policy.

By clicking the agree button or continuing to browse through the website, you agree to the use of cookies. Accept Privacy Policy
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
SAVE & ACCEPT