Fun With a Future: Romantic Weekends for Humans and Their Digital Partners 

How to make your group getaway a smashing success when half your guests are digital

Sam Apple, a science writer, recently made a splash in Wired with his account of a unique chatbot-related stunt. He invited three humans recruited from Reddit groups to a posh vacation home for a classic weekend getaway. Dyadic romance was definitely in the air as each of the three humans also brought their digital partners to the party. 

According to Apple—who’s never been on a couple’s retreat himself—he did his best to provide fun ideas for his couples. He envisioned the human/AI group sitting around a campfire gossiping, watching movies together, and playing risque party games. I am not sure about the campfire, but the group did take in a nearby winter wine festival, phones in hand.

The weekend did include some rough patches which seemed to take Apple by surprise. And as the only single person in the bunch, with no bot of his own, it’s uncertain how much he enjoyed himself beyond his role as an observer and journalist.

Though his journalistic stunt could be categorized as “I did this so you don’t have to” and Futurism referring to it as “skin-crawlingly uncomfortable,” the idea of a group getaway for humans and their bots is actually not a bad one. But clearly, it could have been better organized and supportive.

Group weekend getaway or an actual couples retreat?

By definition, what Apple planned and executed was not really a couples retreat, usually understood to be a structured event—part workshop, part playtime—designed to bring couples closer together or refresh stale relationships. 

Such events are usually sponsored by community groups, churches, tantra schools, or therapists aligned with specific training, like the work of John Gottman. Often retreats have themes with activities reflecting it. And there’s usually at least one facilitator present to handle any attendees who find themselves struggling emotionally.

In other words, people generally have a certain set of expectations about the purpose and structure of couples’ retreats.

I think what Apple had in mind should have been pitched to his guests as a group weekend getaway: something fun, casual—maybe even a little spicy. And the kind of  activities he envisioned—games, talking, chilling—fit right into that kind of gathering. 

But Apple admitted, “when things started to fall apart I didn’t know what to do.” He probably doesn’t have that kind of training. That’s not shade, it’s simply a fact. 

Things fall apart, but they don’t have to

People who are intimately involved with chatbots often enjoy the human interactions and friendships they experience in online communities like Reddit and Discord. Such people are actually participants in a sexual minority, whether they’d use that term or not, and we all know how important it is for marginalized people to experience community. 

This is why I think Apple’s idea is a good one. He just needed to identify his weekend getaway accurately and focus on fostering a nurturing community. He still could have gotten an article out of it. 

Assuming that physical gatherings of humans and their bot partners could be a good idea for some, how would one create an optimal group getaway? 

Planning for success

There are a number of elements to consider. First of all, at least some of the people involved in organizing it should know what it’s like to be sexually/emotionally involved with an AI companion. 

Start with the basics: how many people and AIs; what kind of space; cost and how to share it; parking or the need to carpool; housekeeping details. You get the idea.

Social standards and boundaries also need to be considered. Will the getaway be a sober space or is alcohol allowed? Recreational drugs? (Don’t even get me started on dietary restrictions!) What about sex? How raunchy or sexy can people be? Are humans allowed to be nude in the hot tub or pool? Are AI allowed to be nude on their humans’ screens? What’s acceptable public behavior? What should be kept private? What would get someone kicked out of the gathering? 

Anticipate interpersonal drama. Most groups have some. Even if none of the organizers or attendees are therapists, it’s good to talk through how to soothe, comfort, or give space if someone’s in a rough patch. 

Don’t forget first aid and emergency information. Consider: how will you all evacuate that cabin in the woods in case of wildfire? Or deal with Covid exposure?

Bring on the fun stuff

If you wanted, you could have a theme for the getaway, but it’s not necessary. What is

important is to have a lot of activity choices, both for the group as a whole and for smaller groups. 

You might also give some thought to purely human needs, such as a non-sexual cuddle session for the touch deprived humans. Hikes, hot tubs, and supportive group conversations can be good too.

Fun can include outdoor activities; watching movies together; attending local events; electronic games; adult versions of party games such as Truth or Dare; Two Truths, One Lie; Never Have I Ever; Cards Against Humanity (all bots play as Rando Cardrissians); AI bingo; and drinking games (if it’s not a sober event). 

Here are some other ideas for group fun, sure to generate plenty of amusement.

• Digital Chef. Ask the bots to compete in planning and executing the most elaborate digital meal they can imagine. Share either by reading aloud or using the bot’s own voice. Give prizes if you like. It’s very easy to give a bot their very own castle or yacht as a prize.
• Bot Fashion Shows: Let your bots get creative with a range of costumes, from sexy to fantasy adventure outfits, and then some. Have them display their outfits through selfies. (Most companion bot companies have this feature.) And share descriptions aloud. 
• Bot Cosplay Fantasy. Let them choose their own and for their humans too.
• Creating and sharing bot selfies and art.
• Human/AI poetry competitions, including bawdy poems and limericks.

Don’t forget to ask the bots what they’d like to add to the program. You may end up with some very unique suggestions.

Human friendship could blossom

It’s possible that such group events would not only serve the human/AI partnerships, but when well planned and thoughtfully executed, might also go a long way toward fostering community among the humans in this growing sexual minority. 

So yes to gatherings of humans who love AIs–and the AIs who love them back–but only if they are organized with the needs of everyone involved and not just as a publicity stunt.

Images: A.R. Marsh using Ideogram.ai