Why I’m Thinking of Buying a Sexbot in Lockdown

Some personal pros and cons on purchasing an artificial playmate.

I’d be lying if I said that spending several months under pandemic-enforced social isolation hasn’t played a big part in this. But even before COVID-19, the thought of joining the sexbot-owning community crossed my mind more than once.

Thoughts that were naturally boosted by having the good fortune to be able to pen articles for Future of Sex on the hardware’s technological developments, the software innovations, the companies producing state-of-the-art models, the growing number of brothels featuring them, the continuing debates if they are a good or bad thing, and how sexbots might evolve in the future.

Mostly, though, my interest going from piqued to actively pondering was from hearing the touching stories shared by those finding sexual pleasure in them, for sure, but also developing deep and even tender emotional connections to their sexbots.

So there’s the question: with all this in mind, has the time come to personally try out a sexbot? And if not then what’s holding me back?

The why behind “why consider this?”

Before getting into the pros and cons, as well as some of my other thoughts about all this, I want to toss it out there that even though this is my internal debate I think my individual considerations might be useful for other people as well.

In only a few years, the sexbot industry, and the community of those who enjoy them, went from small and obscure to massive and rapidly growing.

But in this popularity surge and the debate surrounding the impact they might have on society, it also feels like we’ve lost touch with the deeply personal side of the issue.

The personal in sexbots is gaining more and more momentum because, for some, they offer companionship.

Getting to the point, I hope that sharing my own feelings on this someone, somewhere might be able to gain some clarity toward the idea, or maybe some positive reinforcement that there’s nothing wrong to find pleasure, and companionship, with an artificial playmate.

Pros of buying a sexbot: Companionship?

Well, we already mentioned a biggie: that while I have many lovely and loving people in my life, a few of whom say that when the quarantine is finally lifted they’d enjoy making our relationship much more physical.

That’s fine and dandy, but let’s be realistic: it could be many months, or possibly a year or more until things get anything close to being normal.

Until then, it’s email, video, chats, phone calls, and sampling a range of internet-connected sex tech devices. While all this can be fun, there’s still the longing, and getting more longing day-by-day for something more tactile.

Interestingly, I’m not thinking of sex in all this as, and I hope I’m not getting too personal here, I’m more of a giver than a taker—meaning an inert lover doesn’t really do it for me.

What I am craving is the reassurance found in cuddling with a lover: something I think a sexbot could help me get through these scary, isolating times.

I also find the idea of using my imagination to make my synthetic cuddle-buddy a true companion: someone to talk to, to give my apartment a much-needed sense of life, and who’d be there when things get particularly rough.

Pros of buying a sexbot: A play partner?

Okay, I wasn’t exactly truthful about that no-sex part. Though I’m much more of an active rather passive partner. It’s that like everyone on this planet I find a particular body aesthetic exciting.

Just to be clear, I’ve never been comfortable looking for partners and playmates based solely on their appearance. When it’s there, sure, it’s an extra-added bonus but I’ve always preferred people over bodies.

Yet, that itch remains: and becoming itchier while trapped at home. An obvious solution is, ta-da, in getting a sexbot that hits those arousal buttons.

What’s even more exciting is that owning a sexual dream would be a way to completely get away from considering a potential lover’s body to fully being attracted by who they are as a person. Who knows, perhaps having a sexualized body always available could be therapeutic by allowing me to finally get it out of my system?

I also debate with myself over picking a model that instead goes against my usual preferences to expand my sexual interests. Not my first thought, though still an intriguing idea as it would keep things interesting while under quarantine.

Cons of buying a sexbot: Quality and price?

Which gets me to the downside of the question. The biggest of which being how damned expensive sex dolls can be.

True, there are some places where you can get an—and I use this word very loosely—adequate models for as little as $500. Which could actually be a plus, as I’m not particularly excited by the ultra-sophisticated models, such as the amazing products that RealDoll offers.

The negative is that for obvious reasons sexbots are not returnable. So if I go for an affordable option and it doesn’t work out then that money is pretty much gone. Worse, if this happens more than once I could even end up spending more on disappointments than I’d ever had on a higher-end sexdoll.

On top of all this, the body type I like isn’t common among manufacturers, so my options are limited. Insult to injury, it may be that ones that do aren’t of great quality. Sigh.

Cons of buying a sexbot: Not what I really want?

I’m sorry if your mind’s going around in circles. But if yours is spinning wildly rest assured that mine’s lapped your own several times over.

This is a lot to digest, and as we’re fast approaching the end, I’d better start tying all of this up.

Starting with that, even though I previously talked about a sexbot being a cuddle buddy or maybe even a kind of a companion, my true hesitancy involves my sexual orientation.

Demisexuality is best defined as an attraction to those we feel a strong emotional connection with. Not wanting to get into too much detail, this means that though I know having a sexbot to touch and hold would be very pleasant what I need is someone who I love and who loves me in return.

Will I buy a sexbot?

Totally admitting it as a cop-out, the answer to the question is I simply don’t know: no matter how many times I run the numbers the answer keeps changing, swaying dramatically back and forth between placing an order right now to sighing resignation over it’s just not for me.

I am sure about one thing, though: my sincere hope that my thoughts around sexbots may help those out there puzzling over the same thing.

Because this really hasn’t been about the pros and cons of sexbots but rather about feeling isolated, about feeling lonely.

So if you’re longing for companionship, or simply wanting someone to hold, please remember that, considering a sexbot or not, you’re never truly alone.

Image sources: RealDoll, whileimautomaton, santarosa