Can Siri Control Your Sex Life?

December 20, 2011

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What’s stopping you from turning Siri into a serious sex machine? Not much, it seems.

Most of the chatter involving Siri’s skills in sexy situations discusses her abilities, or lack thereof, to find important sexual health resources like condoms, Viagra, birth control, family planning, and even adult entertainment and escort services. The ability to command an impartial phone robot to fetch the address for the nearest condom dispensary is surely handy (even if she doesn’t know that they also sell emergency contraceptives), so it’s no surprise that relatively few people are talking about the much more exciting possibilities yet. But exploration into the depths of Siri’s ability to interact with the real world is already well on its way, only two months after her release. How far can she go?

Image Source: Flickr, Oyvind Solstad

French developer Applidium investigated Siri’s inner workings, the most important and interesting revelation proving that the only thing preventing Siri from running on Android, your refrigerator, and your bedroom accessories is one single line of code which binds the disconnected female voice to your particular Apple device.

The video below shows how a proxy server to interface with virtually any internet connected device, not just for querying but actually engaging and making changes to the physical environment – in this case, checking on the ambient temperature and the status of the thermostat, than actually changing the thermostat’s target temperature to engage and disengage the furnace.

The code used in this video is available online, and the developer is working on making the user interface more accessible to the less technically inclined. Heating up and cooling off may only be peripherally related to getting down, but the implications for Siri’s abilities are far-reaching. Once the YouTube usability testers finish proposing marriage and querying Siri to find adequate body dump locations, hopefully their attention will turn to experimenting and see just what kind of devices Siri can reach out and touch. Until then, internet pranksters are preparing us for the inevitable with product satires like the Apple iHole.

Does the iHole spark your imagination? What kind of wearable tech or wi-fi enabled devices would you like to see Siri control?

Baxstar

Baxstar J. Ferguson is a serial storyteller. Their work, across mediums, is to tell a vivid, meaningful story that comes from the heart and connects authentically and powerfully with the right audience. Baxstar’s work holds so much versatility from journalistic articles and op-eds to creative nonfiction. They also do translation, photography, and illustration.

For a decade now, they’ve worked with Lonely Planet, Esquire, Yahoo! Canada, ravishly, Thrillist, Playboy.com, sharecare, care/of, Avocados from Mexico, Marriott, Scotiabank, and Hearstmade.

Baxstar graduated from the University of Waterloo in 2004 with a degree in Social Development Studies and from Athabasca University in 2014 with a degree in Women’s and Gender Studies.