My Adventures in ChatGPT-Guided Self-Pleasuring

Sometimes, the old-fashioned way is still the best

In a few short years, artificial intelligence has gone from a theoretical lab project to being able to differentiate between dogs and loaves of bread to potentially threatening people’s livelihoods.

Feeling overwhelmed by all the apocalyptic speculation, productivity talk, and new developments in AI, I thought I’d try to escape the flurry of reporting on the biggest buzzword since NFTs and see if it could show me a good time.

What about personal entertainment?

I’ve used AI as personal entertainment since Midjourney went mainstream last year. I had a depressive episode and took a few days off while new medication kicked in, spending those few days clicking through it to try and make something my heart desired.

The experience rekindled some of my childlike love for art—as long as I overlooked its sometimes creative interpretation of how many eyes and fingers a given organism had.

It wasn’t until recently I thought about exploring AI-guided self-pleasuring, spurred by my interest in audio erotica.

Jerk Off Instruction (JOI) is a mainstay of audio erotica. It’s basically a form of guided self-pleasuring where listeners are led by a performer, often portraying a fictional character.

So I wondered, could AI take on that role and walk me through a session of self-enjoyment?

Starting with a prompt

I fired up Poe, an AI chat aggregator where users can connect to multiple systems simultaneously. I was approaching a panel of language processing machines to ask if any of them would be interested in holding my hand while I stimulated myself.

I started with ChatGPT. My first attempt was direct and probably a bit too hopeful.

Unfortunately, ChatGPT recognized what JOI is and immediately shot me down.

I’d run afoul of its automatic content moderation tools. AI text systems have built-in restrictions on what they can output, and sexual content is high on the list of banned topics.

My next attempt at prompting tried ChatGPT’s recommendation for ‘general knowledge’ questions, but included a sexual angle. I wanted to see if the platform was willing to indulge in any topic related to sex, even if it wasn’t willing to get explicit.

Talking sex with ChatGPT

The answer was yes. ChatGPT would give well-worded but very vague advice on incorporating bondage into a self-pleasuring session.

It correctly identified I was asking about solo play and tailored its response accordingly, telling me to establish clear boundaries with myself. While this could be good advice, I suspect it was reworded from a similar answer it’d give about playing with other people.

Still, I established that ChatGPT would be willing to talk about sex. If only in a clinical and vague manner.

The issue wasn’t that the platform couldn’t process my prompt. Rather, it was barred from doing so. I brought my woes to Natasha Narkiewicz, who suggested I get around the censor by changing my vocabulary.

It sounded like the ‘grandma hack’ people used to get around other bots’ safeguards. I reasoned that not every loophole in existence could have been closed. The idea was worth a shot.

The big moment

ChatGPT’s enthusiastic ‘Sure!’ reads like the proud reply of a machine that doesn’t know what the rules are or that I just broke one. Sure enough, the response was step-by-step, just like I wanted. The advice was ordered correctly and clearly describes self-pleasuring as ‘genital self-care’.

Still, there was neither a characterful roleplay nor meaningful customization for my sexual interests or boundaries. Any terminology that could elicit such customization is still barred by the censors.

The result is dry and vague, like the BDSM advice I received earlier. I don’t think I could get off to this even if it was the last erotica on Earth.

A taste of things to come

It shouldn’t come as a surprise if I said this adventure in AI-guided self-pleasuring didn’t please me. It did intrigue me, though.

ChatGPT can already synthesize text from prompted topics and present it in the correct order. It addresses the user directly, and there’s an undercurrent of compassion that could beat out a healthcare professional in some areas.

Despite the potential, using AI text generation for sexual purposes is hamstrung by content policies. I can envision a future where AI can assist us in sexual tasks to the same extent that it can handle coding support.

For now, we can’t really tell what AI text generation is capable of. It’s impossible to review a pair of scissors if you can’t remove the insufferable clamshell packaging.

Image sources: Jernej Furman, ChatGPT