Future of Sex
tagline
  • Remote Sex
  • Virtual Sex & Entertainment
  • Robots
  • Human Augmentation
  • Sex Tech
  • Dating & Relationships
  • Bizarre Bazaar 18+
  • Future of Sex Community
  • Remote Sex
  • Virtual Sex & Entertainment
  • Robots
  • Human Augmentation
  • Sex Tech
  • Dating & Relationships
  • Bizarre Bazaar 18+
  • Future of Sex Community
  • Machinery of Joy: Is AI Already Making Sexwork Obsolete?

  • Tomorrow’s Programmable Matter Sextoys Will Be Everything We Want—Whenever We Want It

  • Men’s Only Club: Does the Synthetic Companion Industry Really Have a Sexism Problem?

  • Red States, Risqué Secrets: Who’s Really Obsessing Over Sex?

  • No Hentai, Please: Japan Prosecutes AI Porn Prompters

  • Out of Sight, Out of Touch? Sweden Moves to Ban Adult Cam Performers

  • Spin Me Right Round: Cupsland’s Twirl Does Everything A Stroker Should—And More

  • We-Vibe Sextech Report: Talk, Grab a Toy, and Enjoy

Future of Sex is supported by our readers. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Home > Dating & Relationships > Racism & Kink Culture: Is America Ready for an Open Sexual Future?

Dating & Relationships
Home›Dating & Relationships›Racism & Kink Culture: Is America Ready for an Open Sexual Future?

Racism & Kink Culture: Is America Ready for an Open Sexual Future?

By Marcus K. Dowling
November 20, 2020
1784
0

Hate speech on popular fetish site FetLife raises concerns over our preparedness for radical sexual freedom.

LGBT Gay Trans Black Lives Matter Flag
LGBTQ pride flag in solidarity with Black Lives Matter.

“We are going to have open sexual intercourse on every street corner of America,” says rapper Mickey Avalon on his dystopian 2005 track “Waiting to Die.”

Recent social media advocacy for sexual freedom, the COVID-era boom in sexual device sales, and a need for intercourse, in general, portends a future wherein this song’s prediction comes true. 

However, contemplating how to self-regulate the possibility for freedom to exist within our heavily government-legislated sexual lives must be explored. 

Yes, this is an era where acts like FOSTA and SESTA have considerably limited the online and real-time freedoms of sex workers and sexualized persons in general, nationwide. 

Radicalization that allows for behavior to exist within but without these regulations is happening. 

FetLife’s racism problem

Recently, the unfettered rise of rampant racism on Fetlife has raised concerns about America’s sexually liberated future.

Writer and burlesque artist Fancy Feast is a self-described “professional naked person” who notes that she’s been a part of organized sex and kink spaces for almost a decade. 

As the author of Buzzfeed News’ long-form piece “This Kink Site Has Become A Hotbed Of Racism,” she calls into question Fetlife’s low moderation of racism and a rising alt-right agenda.

Is America Ready for a Radically Open Sexual Future
Screenshot from BuzzFeed News.

She notes that egregious and harmful behavior is part of a much larger issue in sex and kink communities, in general, of late.  

I haven’t been part of a single [organized sex and kink space that hasn’t had a problem with racism and perpetuated white supremacy. Colliding the issue of racism and white supremacy with sex and freedom of speech in an online space like FetLife, where anonymity is engendered in its culture, creates situations like the ones on which I reported.

The cavalier manner in which Fetlife—a Canadian founded and American-popular platform—treats America’s tension-filled national social referendum on the nation’s history is quite concerning. 

Unfortunately, their lack of concern is agitating a frustratingly tense line between the onset of mass violence and the benefits of unchecked freedom in the real-time and online sexual futures of America’s citizens.

Related to America’s issues, the kinky social network was created in 2008, the year the nation elected Barack Obama.

However, ten years later, at the onset of conservative Donald Trump’s presidency, the article notes:

Attorney General Jeff Sessions promised to crack down on sex trafficking online, and FetLife was in the Department of Justice’s crosshairs. This issue was only exacerbated when, during that same year, Yingying Zhang was kidnapped by a FetLife user.

Now, three years later, Fancy Feast’s story notes that the Black Lives Matter movement has increased talk of race and racism on Fetlife. This issue has dovetailed with an increase in racist users on the platform who “post memes blaming Jews and BLM for 9/11” alongside “photos of saline-engorged testicles.” 

She also quotes African-American sex worker Dirty Lola who notes that attempts to curtail racism on the site were met with disdain from white users:

If someone speaks up about something, you get, ugh, everything’s about race! This is a kink site; what does that have to do with anything? Which is racism lite. They’re not using the buzzwords, but they’re trying to cover it up.

Ideally, the levels of intra-site community privilege checking and self-moderated behavior code creation that Fancy Feast notes exist on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook would exist on Fetlife.

However, she notes that Fetlife moderators have pointed out an inability to figure out appropriateness lines. She also highlights the idea that Fetlife is ideally likely allowing its users to engage in actions and behaviors that are typically moderated against by users or the site themselves on non-Fetlife platforms. 

Sexual resilience

Fancy Feast is a self-described “white woman who lives in New York City,” where “numerous avenues for me to explore here because of my race, gender, and the fact that it’s okay to be a freak here.”

Thus she realizes that her privilege, on multiple levels, impedes her ability to best discuss America’s best step forward into a potential wealth of sexual freedoms. 

Still, she does offer the following:

“Foremost, white-run spaces are doing a shoddy job of policing themselves so far,” she says. “There’s a sense of dread and terror that we could have about the future of how sex and the internet interact. Sex on the internet used to be fun. Now, people freak out about sex on the internet. Ideally, there’s no kink-shaming and no stigmatizing of sexual communities.”

Sex in America—as an act and industry— has responded to being presented with the opportunity to experience radicalized and hitherto historically unprecedented freedom, in a troublesome manner.

Instead of embracing consent, equality, and safety, America’s relationship to sex and sexuality moves from being risk-aware to removing sanity, risk awareness, and personal responsibility from itself. 

Nevertheless, awareness of these issues—via journalism and action—as noted by Fancy Feast, portend positively for what lies beyond this point.

“Our communities are done with the bullshit and want a better way to be,” she states decisively.

“People are gonna fuck. We’ll move mountains to make that happen. I trust in the resilience of sexuality.”

Image source: Emercado2020, BuzzFeed, Clay Banks

Marcus Dowling

Marcus K. Dowling is a kink-friendly journalist, broadcaster, and entrepreneur. In the past ten years, Marcus has written for VICE, Pitchfork, Complex, Red Bull, Bandcamp, Mixmag, ESPN's Undefeated, and has made 300+ podcast appearances.

As a journalist, he's a published author in Superchamp Books’ 2020-released Dating & Sex: The Theory of Mutual Self-Destruction. He’s also an accomplished food critic, having appeared on the second season of the History Channel’s The Food That Built America and Modern Marvels, plus being published in Washingtonian and the Washington City Paper. Plus, as a writer in the fields of race and culture, he’s written for The Bitter Southerner, ESPN’s The Undefeated, Washington Informer, Red Bull’s Amaphiko community service campaign, and is in the top 10% of most-read writers on Medium, notably at their LEVEL vertical.

As a music writer, he’s written for Rolling Stone, Vice, The FADER, DJCity, VIBE, Complex, Bandcamp, The Boot, Nashville Scene, CMT.com, and more. Moreover, he’s been quoted by the Associated Press, ESPN, the Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Billboard Magazine, and the Tennessean.
Previous Article

How the Magical World of VR Creates ...

Next Article

Diary of a Sexbot: Sci-fi Novel ‘The ...

Related articles More from author

  • Dating & RelationshipsRemote SexSex Tech

    A Touching Tomorrow: Why Future Relationships Will Be More, Not Less Intimate

    July 27, 2024
    By M. Christian
  • A Woman Showing Her Smartphone.
    Dating & Relationships

    Disclosing Trans-ness on Dating Apps

    October 29, 2022
    By Summer Tao
  • Dating & RelationshipsRobotsSex Tech

    The Artificial Companions of Your Wet Dreams—or Broken Promises?

    February 17, 2025
    By M. Christian
  • Dating & RelationshipsSex Tech

    Between Connection and Commodification: The Complex Truths of Webcam Intimacy

    March 17, 2025
    By A.R. Marsh, Ed.D.
  • Dating & RelationshipsVirtual Sex & Entertainment

    Is Virtual Reality Dating Going Mainstream?

    February 18, 2023
    By Michael McGrady
  • Dating & RelationshipsSex Tech

    Sick of Swiping: Gen Z and Millennials Prefer Real Life Events to Online Dating

    July 13, 2024
    By A.R. Marsh, Ed.D.

  • Decorative image: A complex structure, representative of data passing through a system as per an artifical neural network. Artist: Rose Pilkington.
    Robots

    Sex Robots vs. Sex Machines: Is There a Difference?

  • We-Vibe sex toys let you get intimate with long-distance lovers.
    Remote SexSex Tech

    Sex Toy Maker We-Vibe Sued for Collecting Intimate Data in Proposed Class Action

  • Sex Tech

    Playboy Files Fraud Suit Against Global Blockchain Technologies

Virtual Lust is a 3D interactive sex game.
3DXChat
Discover the best virtual sex parties and 3D sex worlds.
  • TOP REVIEWS

  • Screenshot of FeelConnect app future of interactivity intimacy available on Apple and Google Store

    The Best Sex Game Apps for Couples [UPDATED]

  • Project QT is the most popular RPG sex game at hentai sex game portal Nutaku.

    The Best RPG Sex Games [UPDATED]

  • Multiplayer Online Sex Games

    Review of the Best Massively Multiplayer Online Sex Games

    0
  • Harmony ai sex doll from RealDoll

    State of the Sexbot Market: The World’s Best Sex Robot and AI Sex Doll Companies ...

  • Realistic Sex Games

    Review of the Best Sex Games and Most Realistic Sex Simulators [UPDATED]

    0
Fantasy sex game Dream Sex World lets you explore your wildest desires.
Multiplayer sex world Red Light Center continues to impress with its massive userbase and incredible sex graphics.
A blonde and light-skinned love doll face sppears next to the text Go now realdollxthe future is real.

Like Us on Facebook

Newsletter Subscription

Sign up for our monthly newsletter sharing the very best of the future of sex from our publication and others across the web.

DreamSexWorld offers a stunning XXX 3D world filled with incredibly interactive erotic experiences.

Like Us On Facebook

Facebook Pagelike Widget

RLC_ad_v2

Tweets by @FutureofSex
Future of Sex Report

Follow us

  • Home
  • About
  • ADVERTISE
  • Contribute
  • Story Ideas
  • Sitemap
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
© 2011 - 2022 Future Exploration Network
This website or its third-party tools use cookies to improve user experience and track affiliate sales. To learn more about why we need to use cookies, please refer to the Privacy Policy.

By clicking the agree button or continuing to browse through the website, you agree to the use of cookies. Accept Privacy Policy
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
SAVE & ACCEPT