Virtual Bondage, AI power exchange, digital fetishes, and beyond!

While the initials that form the term BDSM are easy to define—Bondage and Discipline/Dominance, and Submission/Sadism and Masochism—the actual concept itself is so incredibly diverse. It covers so many sexual interests that even Wikipedia says that “inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience.”

In short, if you feel kinky you can be part of the BDSM lifestyle.

At its core, however, BDSM is generally about sexual control: one party relinquishing it, another other assuming it. The roles commonly involved are often referred to as top and bottom—with a switch being those who find pleasure in flipping between the two.

As BDSM can sometimes involve some emotional as well as physical extremes, the BDSM community strives to self-monitor. One of the most common forms of this is the idea that BDSM experiences (or “scenes”) should always strive to be safe (“attempts should be made to identify and prevent risks to health”); sane (“activities should be undertaken in a sane and sensible frame of mind”); and, very importantly, consensual (“all activities should involve the full consent of all parties involved”—using Wikipedia again).

Though the idea of BDSM is traced by some to the works of the Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, as well as luminaries like Sigmund Freud, the concept of using the exchange of sexual power for the pleasure of those concerned is clearly deeply rooted in the human psyche.

BDSM, though, has evolved and become much more refined and responsible since those early explorers. Today, a great number of people embrace BDSM not just as an enjoyable activity but as a special, and extremely powerful, form of sexual expression and personal identity. For them, BDSM is not just play but a way of life and even spirituality.

Tying kinksters together

While there is a clear fondness for the aesthetics of the past—play spaces often being fondly called dungeons)—BDSM, like practically every other form of human sexuality, has dramatically benefited from recent technological changes.

For many years the only way anyone could discover the BDSM community was through very specific magazines and underground guidebooks. With the advent of the Internet, though, the power exchange community exploded.

Now there are many BDSM specific dating apps and innumerable sites—one of the most popular being Fetlife—giving people even in the remotest parts of the world an opportunity to connect with, and receive support from, other BDSM community members.

Even more importantly, this new level of interconnectivity means that people interested in the lifestyle can share essential information on how to do BDSM play safely.

Kinky hardware

While still in the early stages of development, another technological breakthrough that could also expand BDSM play potential are recent developments in teledildonics: sex toys linked to each other as well as the Internet.

We’ve seen many new devices become available—such as those from OhMiBod, Lovense, and KIIROO—that are allowing lovers to reach out and virtually touch one another. More than likely this same technology will be embraced by the BDSM community to add an extra dimension to kinky play.

After all, a major component to many people in the BDSM scene is the idea of sexual control—and how better to reward a submissive than by a teledildonic orgasm? Or, if they haven’t deserved such pleasure, why not then deny them access to their favorite sex toy via a biometric password held by their dominant?

VR dungeons

Virtual reality, too, shows great promise in bringing new toys to the BDSM playbag. Many adult entertainment companies have included VR options for their kink customers. One of the, if not the, largest BDSM pornography companies, Kink.com, has already launched a virtual reality version of its popular site [NSFW].

Other companies, like Pornhub, also feature a fetish section of their VR offerings—with many others no doubt arriving soon.

While VR’s power of total immersion lends itself perfectly to sex, it really could be a massive benefit to those interested in BDSM.

For all of today’s growing acceptance of different forms of sexuality, the world of domination and submission, and all the flavors it may involve, is still seen by many to be taboo—both because of personal shame as well as the backward attitudes of far too many healthcare professionals and legislators.

Because of this, VR holds tremendous promise in exposing—and educating—the BDSM curious to the reality of the lifestyle. Reading about a technique is one thing, and a video is another, but VR and its power to place people virtually in the experience, would be the next best thing to a hands-on experience.

Fetishizing Tomorrow

In the meantime, we are fast approaching a time when sexual control of one person by another (consensually, of course) could literally be a hardwired option.

Direct neurostimulation is the implantation of electrodes in a person’s body or brain allowing them, or someone else, to directly trigger an orgasm without genital contact.

It doesn’t take a huge amount of (kinky) imagination to see where this could lead. Dominants could literally have the keys to their submissive’s pleasure, or be able to reward them at any time, any place, with a simple electronic signal.

Additionally, neurostimulation could mean a whole new orchestra of erotic sensations. With digital rewiring of signals, it could be possible for someone to receive unique forms of erotic stimulation from apparently non-erotic behaviors. A submissive, for example, who performs an expected action—say doing the dishes—could receive the reward of an erotic thrill for doing it perfectly.

Then you have bondage. Even though things like rope, leather, and latex restraints will more than likely never go out of style, with direct access to a person’s motor centers it would be possible to restrain someone totally and completely within their own body—with the consent of those involved, of course.

Meanwhile, as advances in artificial intelligence grow, it also could be possible in the future to have a manufactured dominant or submissive: one that would be programmed not just for the greatest pleasure but also for physical and emotional safety.

Right along with safety, sanity, and consensuality, another thing the BDSM community embraces is imagination. And with these new technological playthings, both here now and coming soon, the world of kinky sexual play could become even more powerful—and beautiful.

What arousing dreams may come

And yet the greatest—if all goes well—is yet to come.

While lagging slightly behind gay and transgender rights, and polyamorous relationships, BDSM continues to gain acceptance.

Though there may be trials and tribulations ahead, it is clear that one day being a member of the BDSM community, having power exchange-based sexuality, will not be a cause for social stigma.

In this future world, sex in all its consensual forms will be seen as a wonderful way to celebrate the pleasure of being human—and never with shame or fear.

Image sources: Depositphotos

The post A Great Big Kinky Tomorrow: What BDSM Might Be Like in Years Ahead appeared first on Future of Sex.

Exploring the fusion of online and in-person networking

In response to the COVID pandemic, which practically shut down in-person gatherings overnight, members of the BDSM community have begun using innovative new ways to connect with one another. 

Be it via online searches, listening to podcasts, delving into various assortment of subreddits, or good, old-fashioned networking; they’ve discovered new—often high-tech, sometimes low-tech–methods to find friends, support, partners, or playmates. 

In a similar vein, fetish-themed adult entertainment venues are using a combination of tried-and-true as well as out-of-the-box techniques to appeal to kinksters worldwide.

Working together—kinksters seeking to find others like them and organizers trying to get the word out about their events—these and other innovative social and technological developments could be giving us a glimpse of BDSM’s future.

The world is a kinky oyster

While certain things have changed, like how local munches—a non-sexual gathering of community members wanting to socialize—feel like they’re increasingly hard to find, larger BDSM conventions can often still be found on kink-related online spaces and sites, like the kink-related social network, Fetlife, Discord, Reddit and even Eventbrite.

Other high-tech ways kinksters are linking up include specific kink and fetish dating sites, like ALT, Fetish.com, BDSM.com, or subreddits such as r/BDSMpersonals.

Suppose your idea of playing includes games as well as BDSM scenes. In that case, there’s a host of immersive titles to choose from, many of which have proven to be great places to connect with playmates in the real world as well, such as 3D SexVilla, IMVU, Yareel, and others we’ve previously previewed. 

Though frequently not as popular as non-kinky dating apps, there’s a steadily rising number of Android and iOS ones specifically made for the BDSM community, including Kinkoo, Kink D, FET, Whiplr, and Feter.

Getting the word out

On the other side of the fence, as in venues and events trying to reach the kink community, I asked Megan A, Liquid Red Las Vegas’ fetish party producer, to share how she gets the word out for her almost monthly shows, “I post on my event websites liquidredlv.com and liquidreddetroit.com, as well as Facebook events, Fetlife events, all of my social media channels and groups that I am involved with.” 

She added how good old-fashioned email works as well, “Having a go-to email list is also necessary, and I feel like a lot of people start to think they’re outdated, but I still find them useful. I also still use printed posters and flyers because some people still find my events that way as well.”

Although it’s obvious blogs, press releases, and online posts remain effective at getting the word out, producers like Megan A also need to know that where and when a show takes place will always play a vital role in how to promote their events successfully.

Take Sin City, for example, a town replete with adult entertainment venues, many of which operate seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day.

“For Las Vegas, and the museum even more specifically, the larger the lead time one leaves to advertise an event or show could signal the death knell of attendance,” Dr. Victoria Hartmann, director of Las Vegas’s Erotic Heritage Museum, told me. 

“People come to Las Vegas for a few days, pick what they might go to see when they are here; there’s a lot of options in this town. We’ve learned unless it is a residency show like our ‘Puppetry Of The Penis’, inundating a potential customer with news of an event weeks before doesn’t bring us a big audience. In fact, the opposite is true.”

In short, the best press coverage in the world, in print, online, or featured on a local news broadcast, won’t have much of an impact if not timed correctly, especially in bustling entertainment hubs like Vegas.

Still room for print?

Designer/Producer James Dury, head of PictureRama Publishing, has been putting out the UK-based Fetish Map for a decade. 

In this day and age of apps and online searches, his map stands out, as much for featuring kinky retail establishments, service providers, upcoming events in and around the London area, as well as it’s an actual, printed-on-paper map.

Dury explained to me, “During lockdown, we conducted a survey amongst our readers and subscribers. ‘What is your fetish? We want to know all about it. We got a good response ranging from one-liners right up to full-length essays, going into great detail about what our readers are interested in and how they play that out. This allowed us to go in search of businesses/events/teachers/providers that/who cover all those requirements.”

As Dury’s Fetish Map shows, there remain plenty of ways, from online to good old-fashioned paper maps or in-person networking, for kinksters to find what and who they’re looking for.

Nothing’s gonna stop us now—

Portuguese writer José de Sousa Saramago imagined a terrifying pandemic in his novel Blindness. But not even a Nobel Prize recipient couldn’t have imagined what COVID would end up putting most of society through. 

It’s also why professional as well as amateur futurists have often failed to predict what the world would be like when we could step out of our houses once again—or share a meal (or more) with a friend.

Not to be undone, what could tomorrow’s BDSM networking, dating, or attending in-person events look like?

Megan A. postulated, “I think people are mainly back to wanting to get out and see other people. At this point, very few people have hang-ups about events. Only a few older people I know still worry about crowds.”

So it’s pretty safe to say we’ll likely see a preponderance of online-only performances, meet-and-greets, and virtual play parties, many perhaps aided by virtual reality, augmented reality, or artificial intelligence technologies. 

Another off-base speculation? Hardly, as in fact, these and other online-only social events were popular before the onset of the pandemic.

Leading to the bigger question: will in-person kink play remain popular, or will the scene be someday replaced by digital BDSM experiences?

Meeting in the middle

It’ll likely be a little from column A and a little from column B: a combination of the real and the unreal that’ll make finding a kinky partner, or two or three or more as easy as snapping your flesh-and-blood or virtual fingers or—as we’re talking BDSM after all—cracking a whip.

Image Sources: Depositphotos

The post BDSM Reimagined: Navigating the Kink Landscape in a Post-COVID World appeared first on Future of Sex.