Waving your phone in the air at a concert doesn’t have quite the same effect.

We live in amazing times, with virtually every modern convenience available to us on demand. But is something lost when we replace the old with the new?

Casting aside convenience, modern replacements of the digital kind run the risk of depersonalizing the human connection. That is the physical experience that accompanies a real-life interaction. 

Think of talking to someone in person or holding and sorting through photographs. What about literally putting pen to paper or even struggling with liquid paper to “delete” a letter or word on a piece of paper thread through a typewriter. 

A degree of sensitivity (literally input from the senses) is lost when we use modern replacements. 

What about going to a concert and when a ballad came on everyone whipped out their cigarette lighters and swayed back and forth? The memories! These days if you even manage to get to see live music (thanks COVID), you’d be hard-pressed to see any real flames in the air. Instead, the crowd would be awash with torches from smartphones.  

But waving your phone in the air doesn’t seem to have quite the same effect somehow.

Dating and pleasure are all about modern replacements

In the realm of all things sex, dating, and relationships, there has been a tsunami of modern replacements to address the challenge of picking up or falling in love. 

Dating apps are an obvious example. But with the paradox of (too much) choice, many people despair at the excruciatingly difficult endeavor of finding love (or just good sex) online. Why bother persisting with someone when you can simply and quickly choose another? 

If you do fancy just getting your rocks off without the help of another person, you no longer need to rely on your imagination for sexual fantasies or magazines like Playboy. Or even videos or DVDs of (hilarious) tacky porn that was watched so many times it was like watching your favorite movie on repeat.
Sex tech has opened up a vast array of assisted—digital—ways to get your pleasure hit. Modern replacements in this realm, such as the Bump’n Joystick, can greatly assist people with limited hand and fine motor skills mobility who may otherwise struggle to masturbate. Just because a body is not fully abled, shouldn’t mean you can’t have an orgasm.

Modern replacements offer incredible convenience

Humans are all about progress. Moving ahead, building, developing, recreating, and inventing. We got this far because of the capacity people have to do away with the old for something modern, shiny, and new.

Don’t get me wrong—this is a fantastic thing (as I sit here on my laptop whilst playing with my smartwatch). It’s hard to fathom surviving the pandemic we’re still going through without modern replacements for communication. 

Getting food would be almost impossible without growing them yourself if you were isolated in your shack and didn’t have the internet to rely on.  Late night burger craving after binge watching Netflix all day? There’s an app for that. Run out of homegrown veggies for your lockdown soup? Jump onto your local supermarket website and order home-delivered groceries.

Oh the convenience!

Modern replacements save lives. We can scan bodies deep inside and closely study a person’s DNA make-up. Prenatal genetic screening of fertilized zygotes can help parents-to-be save their future offspring from a life-limiting inherited disease. Brain scans such as an MRI or a CT scan can detect changes and disease processes at early stages. Freely available DIY kits can be sent off with some of your saliva for analysis to trace your ancestral and geographical roots.

I mean seriously, how amazing is that? 

Think of all the technology that is available now to help women have safe and healthy pregnancies and babies. Yes, a hands-on approach is still very important (midwives will hopefully never become obsolete) but ask any anxious pregnant person if they’d opt for a modern replacement for prenatal care and I’d bet most would say yes.

There are now available apps for a pregnant person to track their pregnancy and send information to their primary prenatal caregiver. This may be particularly useful for high-risk pregnancies. While this offers a way to monitor risks and seek help quickly, for an anxious person this constant monitoring may heighten fears. In this way, modern replacements might be seen as a double-edged sword.

Nothing can replace real human touch

But the reassurance of a physical person goes far. Very far.

When we are distressed, a gentle hand on the shoulder or thigh, or a meaningful look can send powerful messages in difficult moments. A warm embrace at the end of a stressful day can be restorative. A kiss held for ten seconds holds much quiet soft depth between two lovers.

I’m not sure sexting or video chats can offer the same engagement with real human senses. But, if that is all there is available—especially in times of separation and loneliness—then how fantastic that is.

Maybe the answer is somewhere in between

Perhaps we still need the best of both worlds: Modern replacements and old sentiments. 

Ultimately, we build on old sentiments with modern replacements to offer more and better—connection, convenience, healthcare, safety and care for the planet. 

Within each of us there are old sentiments. All of us are in fact ‘modern replacements’ of who we were yesterday, last year, the last decade, and so on. We are old and new all together, just like the world around us. Surely that is a wonderful thing?

Image sources: Micadew

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The pandemic may present women an opportunity to recreate and redefine the industry as their own. 

Earlier this month, the 2020 Women of Sex Tech (WoST) virtual conference drew more than 600 global participants who came to learn about the views and experiences of women during the pandemic. 

Women of Sex Tech is an organization of women-identifying, fems, and non-binary people who champion sex positivity in the sex tech world.  

Political at times, the event highlighted the ongoing challenges for women regarding equity, rights, safety, gender, and economic disparities, and of being validated for all the work they do in the sex tech industry.

Held on May 2, the mission of the live-streamed conference was to “raise awareness and demonstrate the impact of COVID-19 on the intersection of human sexuality and technology.”

It almost didn’t happen, however. The virtual event was originally set to stream on YouTube, but conference organizers made a last-minute switch to Crowdcast after having its feed shutdown on the Google platform.

It was hosted by SX Noir, the vice president of WoST, and featured 17 speakers including keynote speaker Cindy Gallop of Make Love Not Porn [NSFW]. In fact, the event’s presenters came from all over the world including the USA, Canada, Australia, Singapore, India, and the UK. 

The need for women to be paid; in particular for their “emotional labor” and as the predominant carers of the world, was highlighted by multiple speakers at the conference.

In this regard, whilst the conference was free, attendees were encouraged to donate to each speaker or to a charity of the speaker’s choice. 

SX Noir, Cindy Gallop, and Jessie Sage (who talked about online sex work during the pandemic) all shared similar sentiments regarding the ongoing lack of recognition—and therefore financial reward—of the more-than-physical role women have in the services they provide.  

In her keynote, Cindy Gallop, however, said what we’re witnessing now is a change in how the “caretakers” of the world are seen. COVID-19 has allowed caretakers and frontline workers (who are typically women) to finally be recognized for the important work they do.

And herein lies opportunities to change the (sexual) social equation that has typically been geared toward men.

Presenters also discussed the opportunities and challenges the pandemic presents for women in sex tech.  

Annie Brown and Val Elefante are the founders of Lips; a social commerce platform to encourage honest and open creative expression by women and those in the LBGTQ+ community without censorship. 

Along with Cindy Gallop, they spoke of how most sex tech has been created by people who have limited understanding of the needs and nuances of women or LGBTQ+ people.  

Given this, the pandemic presents women in sex tech an opportunity to recreate and redefine the industry as their own. 

Bryony Cole, who hosts sex tech hackathons and is the host of the Future of Sex Podcast spoke of how the pandemic also presents opportunities for those women seeking to start a career or company in sex tech.

With the sex tech industry already booming, and Bryony outlined strategies on how to break into the field, manage censorship challenges, manufacturing dilemmas, and other risks associated with working in a sex-related field.

Speaker Shakun Sethi, the founder of sex-positive publication Tickle.life, talked of how sex tech will redefine post-pandemic sexual behavior, particularly in regard to people who are in the exploratory stage of understanding their sexuality and desires. The pandemic has allowed more people (now confined to home) to explore these desires via online conversations and purchasing sex toys. 

Ducky Doolittle who has extensive experience working as a sex educator and marketing sex toys reiterated the validity of sex toys being essential goods. During a pandemic, sex toys offer comfort, pleasure, and connection to people; and play an important role in peoples’ well-being when under stress.

Virtual reality (VR) in the sex tech industry has allowed for events that have been canceled due to COVID-19 to occur online.

Angelina Aleksandrovich of Raspberry Dream Labs, said the pandemic also presents opportunities for VR sexual experiences, which is currently being researched and built by RDLs. 

The COVID-19  pandemic has also presented many challenges to women in the sex tech industry.

Sarah Brynn, sexuality writer and sex toy consultant, highlighted the increase in restrictions of women’s rights to access abortions in the US during the pandemic. If abortions are not seen as an essential medical procedure, this further exacerbates already existing inequalities for women.

The Eliminating Abusive and Rampant Neglect of Interactive Technologies Act (EARN IT Act) was introduced in the Senate in early May 2020.

Mistress Blunt argued that the Act stands to further erode rights for those working in the sex industry; likening it to the FOSTA-SESTA Act which sought to reduce human trafficking but eroded the rights and platforms of workers in the sex industry. 

Saying the EARN It Act threatens free speech and digital security, Blunt described the Act as an attack on end-to-end encryption and private communications.

Given that the vast majority of sex-related transactions and services are now occurring online, Blunt expressed deep concern as to how this relates to this female-dominated industry.

A further challenge of the pandemic exists for those who seek to date but are now restricted to online communications and interactions.

For victims of digital abuse (who are overwhelmingly women), this weaponizing of technology presents a significant barrier and can re-traumatize people during COVID-19, stated Norma Busteer 

This in turn can lead to decreased social connections at a time when many women are needing more connection than ever.

Digital companionship service during COVID-19, was also discussed by SX Noir.

She stated the people are experiencing “touch deprivation” right now, and emphasized the importance of social connections and intimacy.

Herein is where digital and online sex tech plays a key role in keeping peoples social and sexual needs met. However, ensuring that the women offering these services are adequately paid and validated for the work they do, is an ongoing challenge.

The conference was closed by WoST president Alison Falk, followed by Jacq the Stripper who offered an opinion via her mainstream persona, rather than her original planned performance.  

An earlier performance by musician Valley Latini on her guitar from home provided commentary on one of the dominating themes of the conference—the need to pay women for all of their work. Valley’s single “Pay My Rent” is a commentary on the topic.

Image sources: Women of Sex Tech

The post Pay for ‘Emotional Labor,’ Sex Work, and VR among Topics Discussed at Virtual Sex Tech Conference appeared first on Future of Sex.

How creators are making sex tech for 24/7 and long-distance kink.

BDSM is an acronym used to denote various possible combinations of bondage (B), bondage and discipline (B &D), domination and submission (D & S), and sadism and masochism (S & M).   

Entering into the world of BDSM can be like wandering into a Willy Wonka-style candy store and being overwhelmed by the sheer array of bizarre, bold, and flavorsome goodies. 

Adding to this eye-watering content are new technologies and how they can enhance “play” during BDSM activities. 

And the ingenious creators of BDSM sex tech have much to add and say about this intriguing field.

Have a quick search on Fetlife and you will find both professional and amateur engineers as well as electronic enthusiasts sharing tips, ideas, and finished products of technologically based BDSM tools.  

The role of technology in BDSM

The field of BDSM and technology is complex and broad. Devices and services that can automate and augment communication (a central and important aspect of BDSM play) such as BDSM task tracker apps are extremely useful for establishing boundaries.  

Boundary violations, of course, are when punishments are called for and the ‘training’ of a submissive can be done.

For the sadistically inclined Dominant (typically spelled with a capital D to denote power), technology may offer an increased repertoire of choice for control, punishment, and connection. While many people associate sadism with the desire to inflict pain, more broadly it is about the creation of sensation.

Technologically enhanced toys can replace traditional tools-of-the-trade for Dominants such as floggers, whips, canes, and paddles. 

Instead, sensation (and control) can be inflicted by more modern gadgets such as electrostimulation devices, shock collars (of which there is a high demand), 3D-printed wrist and ankle restraints, chastity devices that shock the wearer to prevent self-stimulation, eye-tracking devices (see Deviant Designs [NSFW] for his work on this), and interactive online stimulation.

It is the ability of technology to allow in-person or long-distance play that is so appealing to many in the BDSM scene. Those in long-distance relationships find technology allows them to still engage in BDSM routines, behaviors, and tasks, and stay connected in the dynamic. 

Tracking apps like Obedience, for example, fit in this category. For submissives who crave being told what to do and how to do it; technology allows for this virtually 24/7 (for the dedicated Dominant or Master).

Expectations of technology

Technology in the bedroom and in BDSM scenarios only mirrors the expectations most people have of devices used every day to enhance and improve daily life, FetLife user and gadget creator Onwrikbaar told Future of Sex.

He added the use of technology “allows us to do things that would simply be impossible otherwise” given the ubiquitous nature of the Internet and the scope it offers to enhance sexual interactions. 

Onwrikbaar’s inventions include a Bluetooth-enabled electronic leash and an electromagnetic wrist stock for self or long-distance bondage. He is also the creator of DeviceWeb: a system used to control electronic, electric, as well as BDSM sex toys that are programmable for use online.

These days the vast majority of people conduct some degree of daily interactions online, and Onwrikbaar says people’s sex lives are no exception.

They will simply expect that their partner away on a business trip can control their vibrator across the web as easily as they can have a video chat

Safety in BDSM and technology

Challenges do exist, of course, not only in the ability of the creator/user to have sufficient skills in design and programming but also for safety reasons. A cornerstone of good BDSM play is that it be safe, sane and consensual (SSC) and constitute risk-aware consensual kink (RACK).  Further information on safety in BDSM can be found on Kinkly.   

Hardware automation has risks for the inexperienced amateur electronic engineer when controls and safety mechanisms are not adequately tested. Sure, there is always an element of risk in BDSM play, but the benefits must always outway the potential for serious harm.  

The best way to ensure safety in any BDSM scene is to always communicate. And if you’re building or developing anything technologically new, jump online to one of the many forums and threads on Fetlife or Metafetish, and get feedback and advice from like-minded kinky tech-heads. Most of all, have fun!

Image sources: Onwrikbaar/FetLife, Obedience app

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